Resources for Families

The college years can present unique challenges for students and their families.

Understanding the Transition to College

College is a period of intellectual stimulation and growth, increased autonomy, self-exploration, discovery, and social involvement. During these years, your student may forge new identities or seek to clarify their values and beliefs. This may include an examination of self, friends, and family. It is also a time for exploration and experimentation, and a period in which your child may question or challenge the values you hold dear. The changes your child will experience can occur quickly, as they begin to develop new peer relationships, gain competence in new areas, and learn to manage independence. It is important to recognize that every young person will experience his or her own unique challenges and adjustments, just as every parent will have different expectations for and reactions to their student's college experience. It may be comforting to know that most parents and students report increased closeness as well as increased independence as college approaches.

How you can support your child:

Maintaining a supportive relationship when your child leaves home is important, particularly during their first year of college. If you and your student were not particularly close prior to their leaving home, it is still important for you to convey your support. You may be surprised to find that some space and distance from your student can help improve your relationship with them.

Be available, but not all of the time, for every small disappointment or problem. Our children have grown up in a time when they can access us (and us them) at any moment for any reason - and they do! Now is the time to allow them to experience rejection, figure out a plan B or how to find a new social group on their own. Let your student know that you respect and support their right to make independent decisions and that you will serve as an advisor when asked. Finally, recognize that it is normal for your student to seek your help one day and reject it the next. Such behavior can be confusing and exhausting for parents, so make sure to take care of yourself by talking about your feelings with your own support system.
Schedule a regular time to talk. It is important to maintain regular contact with your student, but also to allow space for your student to approach you and set the agenda for some of your conversations.
Agree on a budget. Be realistic and specific with your student about financial issues, including what you will and will not pay for, as well as your expectations for how they will spend money.
Focus on academic strategies, not only the grades. It is important to be realistic about your student's academic performance, recognizing that not every straight-A student in high school will be a straight-A student in college. Help your student set reasonable academic goals; encourage them to establish regular study routines & good habits and encourage them to seek academic assistance when needed.
Refrain from burdening your children with problems from home they have no control over and can do nothing about. The fact that your student has left home does not necessarily prevent family problems from arising or continuing. Sharing these problems with your student may cause them to worry excessively and even feel guilty that they are away from home and unable to help. But reassure them that if there is a serious illness or other emergency at home you will let them know.
Find out contact information for people involved in the various aspects of your student's college experience. If you have questions, or if a particular problem arises, call the appropriate person, but make sure to involve your student in a collaborative effort to address the problem.

Gettysburg College Counseling and Wellness Services as a Resource for Parents

The staff of Counseling and Wellness Services is here to work collaboratively with you. We may not know your child, but we have significant expertise with this age group. We encourage parents to reach out for resources and consultations. We also know it is difficult being at a distance and knowing that a loved one is in distress. We will take phone calls from parents who have reason to be concerned that their student is undergoing significant emotional difficulties. A parent may offer information that could be invaluable to a student's care. You can reach us at 717-337-6960 or counseling@gettysburg.edu and a staff member will get back to you within 24 hours. For urgent safety concerns please contact Campus Safety at 717-337-6911.

Referring Your Student to Counseling and Wellness Services

Students seek out Counseling and Wellness Services for a variety of reasons. We provide free, confidential services for all currently enrolled students, including mental health assessments; drop-in emergency sessions; individual and group counseling; limited medication management, community referrals and psycho-educational outreach programming.

Typically these issues are temporary and students recover fairly quickly; most college counseling center services are designed to be short term. If your student’s difficulties require frequent and/or longer-term counseling to address adequately, we may refer your student to a community provider for ongoing treatment services.

We encourage parents to review our website and information about the counseling process with your student. Emphasize that services are confidential and free. Except in the case of imminent danger to self or others, your student has the right to decline services.

If the intensity or persistence of your student’s difficulties makes it hard for your student to function effectively, or if your student is experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, have your student come to Counseling and Wellness Services or contact Campus Safety (717-337-6911) right away.

Drop ins are available for urgent issues Monday - Friday between the hours of 9 am and 4 pm when classes are in session. Drop in sessions are 30 minute solution focus sessions designed for students who are typically not in regular counseling and who have an urgent issue that needs immediate attention. You are welcome to call and let us know that you have referred your student.

For after hours crisis, please encourage your student to:

Contact Campus Safety: 717-337-6911
Call Gettysburg Wellspan Mobile Crisis: 717-851-5578
Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room: 147 Gettys Street, 6 blocks south of campus

Confidentiality

The Counseling and Wellness Services staff must adhere to professional ethical standards and to state laws regarding confidentiality. These standards and laws restrict us from sharing information with anyone, including parents, about a student unless we have the student's written permission to do so. Consequently, if a child were to tell a parent that he or she is seeing a clinician and the parent would like to be able to talk to the clinician, the student must first sign a release of information that will enable staff to discuss the situation with the parent.

Other Helpful Resources

Books

The Naked Roommate, For Parents Only: A Parent’s Guide to the New College Experience, by Harlan Cohen (2012).
Don't Tell Me What To Do: Just Send Money, by Helen Johnson and Christine Schelhas-Miller (2000).
Emptying the Nest: Launching Your Young Adult Toward Success and Self-Reliance, Brad Sachs, PhD (2010).
Letting Go: A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years, by Karen Levin Coburn & Madge Lawrence Treeger (2016).